“Cut! Perfect! Do It Again.”
— Lloyd Kaufman

Never before have five words, both inspired and sickened me at the same time. These five words have been ringing in my ears for the past three weeks. Little did I realize what I was getting into when I answered that first call from some guy named Jamie.

What started out as a chance to fulfill a long time dream soon became a living nightmare. What else did I expect from a Troma production? But seriously, this adventure so far has been surreal, to the least. Where else can one find 200+ Chicken Zombies mulling around Bailey Avenue well past 3:00 a.m.? Oh that neighborhood will never be the same! As I write this, I still have green slime, blood, and feathers stuck to my ass.

“How many of you guys are new?”
— Jamie Greco

These seven words, just plain annoyed the crap out of me, but I digress.

Before we get any further into the details, I want to take you back to the beginning (my beginning at least), June 20th, 2005. That was the day I first was contacted by Jamie Greco about auditioning for a part in Poultrygeist! My wife Michele and I went down to the church at Linwood and West Ferry and gave an impromptu audition. While neither of us has ever acted before, we were still optimistic. Sure enough, a few days later we were offered the roles of protestors, with the promise of bigger and better things later in the filming process. This led to three-four weeks of rehearsals in the church’s basement. Lucky for all of us, it has been the hottest summer in Buffalo in quite some time. I never knew a human being could emit such sweat. Along with my wife, anywhere from 50-150 people, from all walks of life, crammed into that basement and practiced “getting mad.” One thing is for certain; we didn’t need any extra motivation! When we had our first rehearsal on site, the future home of the American Chicken Bunker, we sensed sweet sweet relief. Oh, but then we forgot about that damn fireball in the sky! Yikes! Was it oppressive! After what seemed like FOREVER, we were about to begin with the real deal. FILMING! What came in the weeks to follow made that dirty little basement feel like an oasis.

“What do we want?!?!”
— Chant Leader

The first day of filming (Saturday) seemed to move along rather quickly. Well, as quickly as 12 hours can. But that was only our first day, and we were quite young and foolish! Sunday went a tad longer, as we started to realize that this wasn?t all fun and games. The most annoying part of those first few days by far, was what I will call, “The Camera Hounds.” You know the ones I mean. The ones that no matter how many times Jamie placed them, they always seemed to find their way directly in front of you, even the knuckleheads holding signs! These are the same smoes that only came to the filming, or when they knew Lloyd would be there. Amazingly enough, these “Camera Hounds” seemed to “visit” the set less and less. Maybe the allure of 12+ hours a day wasn’t going to get them the lead role in a Hollywood production they had hoped for. The next weekend was a tad shorter, as we were only there around 20 hours. We were then introduced to “Troma Vomit,” a nasty concoction of chicken noodle soup, cream of mushroom soup, peas, corn, and ripped up bread (***Note to F/X department, tear the bread up in SMALLER pieces next time! Thank you!). The first couple of times wasn’t that bad, but as the day progressed, and that damn fireball in the sky continued to beat down on us, the “vomit” sat for hours in the sun, that made “puking” very easy (***Note to F/X department, bacteria grows rapidly between the temperatures of 40-140 degrees!). This scene pales in comparison to the lobby vomit scene, but I am getting ahead of my self. Yummy!

One thing as I look back, and am amazed by, is the fact that this was truly a community in every sense of the word. There was no violent behavior (except towards that evil General!), people followed directions for the most part, and everyone really seemed to get along. I know I have made some good friends, both in front of, and behind the camera. With the protesting scenes done, it was time to focus on what we had all been anticipating — THE MASSACRE!!!!!

But wait! I almost forgot that we happy protestors had to converge on Arbie inside and get us some more chicken! This led to the lobby puke scene I alluded to earlier. We (about 20 of us, including the C.L.A.M. girls and the A.C.B. dancers, hi Maria, Tracey, Teresa, and Rose!) puked OVER AND OVER AND OVER! You get my point! When this epic finally is released, that scene will be indelibly etched into your brain for eternity, I promise! Now, onto “THE MASSACRE.”

“Guys, we should be out of here soon…”
— Jamie Greco

God how I miss those short 12-hour days! Once we started filming inside for the “Massacre,” the scenes dragged on and on. This was to be expected I guess, as these were very involved shots, with a ton of effects that had to be planned perfectly. This led to much bickering amongst the directors, while the dozen or so lucky protestors were forced to sit and listen. You really can’t blame anyone for the long delays in between death scenes, as the majority of them were one time deals. You had to get it right the first time. All in all, I felt that first day inside (Saturday 8/13) went well. Messy, but nonetheless, well. By the time we heard Lloyd say, “That’s it, thank you!” some 15 hours had passed. The witching hour was upon us! I don’t want to divulge any secrets about this movie, but I will say that the death scenes were out of this world. Nothing has been done quite like this before. With that in mind, the rest of this blog will mainly focus on the experience, rather then the actual logistics of the day(s). One thing I will mention is, sitting in a pool of blood and guts for 10 hours SUCKS! Add a ton of feathers, and it REALLY SUCKS!!! All of this while in full make-up! The incredible make up team really went above and beyond transferring us into the hideous creatures. My personal thanks go out to Sochie, as she is AMAZING!!!!! (Sorry if I spelled your name wrong) After that first 15-hour day, I said to myself, “self, it can’t possibly go longer then this tomorrow.” Boy was I wrong. The next day (Sunday 8/15) started, for me at least, a little after noon. I was informed that I was going to be involved with an elaborate death scene in the kitchen! Again, I don’t want to give anything away, but that scene, from start to finish, took close to 6 hours! But it will be so worth it in the end! After that, I thought that I would have a short day. Wrong! From there, I joined in the throngs of protestors, some which had traveled from all over the eastern region to become “Chicken-Zombies” in the mass parking lot scene! What a sight! As the witching hour again came and went, a sudden chill crept up my spine. I forgot that the “Thriller” dance was to be filmed that day (or night) as well. “How could that be?” my fellow dancers asked one another. By the time Lloyd was finished with the mass zombie scene, it was past 2:00 in the morning! After talking to our leader, Maria, we found out that we would in deed be filming this number, even if it took us into dawn. The crew broke for lunch/dinner/breakfast, (We got some pizza too! Thanks) and then they started the set-up for this unique dance number. This time when Lloyd dismissed us, it was past 5:00 a.m.! Thank God I took Monday off, as it took close to an hour to clean my self up! Looking back at the past three weeks, I ask myself was it all worth it? HELL YEAH!!! Next, I get to be shot, which sounds incredibly fun! Jamie says it will only take a couple of hours, but as we have found out, a couple of hours in Tromaville, is like a couple of days in the “reel” world!

— Paul Bradley, Protestor/Chicken Zombie