Chicken shit is very important, blood needs to be thicker, get lots more KY, make ass bladders, call the guy with the missing finger, talk to Jamie about getting a baby or a toddler to put in the deep fryer… -some of my notes from Poultrygeist.

I was an intern at Troma in 2002 for school credit. In addition to working in the New York office, I got to go to Park City, Utah for TromaDance. I don’t know what it has been like other years, but when I was there I saw things that shocked even me—and I grew up watching Troma movies! My poor little eyes. So, when I decided to go to Buffalo to work on Poultrygeist, I was pretty much prepared for anything to happen.

June 19 - Halfway between Philadelphia and Buffalo, I get a call from Andy Deemer. He wants to know if I am still planning to come work on the movie. I told him I would be there in a few hours. He told me that all of the people there were pretty normal. Then, we hung up. I had about three hours left to wonder and worry about what gang of circus freaks I was going to be thrown in with. “Pretty normal”. Why the fuck did he go out of his way to say that? When I got to the church, I met Andy, Nick K., Jamie. and Bitte. And once I got to really know them, I realized he was right. No one who puts their entire life on hold to work on a Troma movie could possibly be totally normal.

Things were nice back then, I had my own bedroom, complete with Troma posters and enough bed frames to make 20 beds, but I’ll get back to that later. We had all of the work room that anyone could ever need and we all got a chance to take a shower—everyday! And, we had hot water! Soon, things would be very different.

Early on, I was working on FX with Bitte and Dave Molloy and helping Jamie Greco with auditions. Then I started building the graveyard set with Andy K. and Kevin. This was when I learned to forget what sleeping was like. I figured I could sleep when we were done the movie. We used all but two of the donated oak bed frames that were in my room to build the sets. One was saved for Wendy’s bedroom set and I moved the bed I had into the closet so that when I did get a chance to sleep it was always quiet and always dark. Thinking about it now, I had the best set-up of anyone in the entire house. I essentially had my own room. Bitte told me that everyone was better off because of it. I still don’t know what she meant by that.

Before we knew it, they were everywhere. Fucking people. I spent a large portion of my time in the back room of the church basement which everyone started calling the “toxic room”, making foam body parts—human and chicken. One of the good things about working with toxic chemicals is no one really wants to hang around you while you are doing it. I worked all night and to get to where I worked I had to navigate a maze of bodies packed into the hot basement through a great obstacle course that included air beds, extension cords, piles of suitcases, a clothesline and a giant egg—while carrying plaster molds…in the dark. Add some bats dive bombing the sleeping PAs to the mix and then we’re in for some real fun.

By the way, a friend of mine once told me that hell would be really, really hot, the walls would be wet and there will be lots of flies. So, for those of you who have been searching, I found hell and it’s in the church basement or in Limon,CO..

A word about Video Tests: We tested everything we did in the FX department. Countless squib tests, makeup tests…you name it, it was tested. But, I wouldn’t say that means everything turned out exactly as planned. Late the night before actually filming an effect, while doing a video test, a key part of the effect was accidentally dropped in a bucket of blood. Clean floor everywhere and the head just had to fall into the bucket of blood. I watched it happen. It was as if it was in slow motion. Our Chicken Zombie (I still love you Ian) went to hand someone the head, but there wasn’t a person there. There was, however, a bucket of blood. All in all, video tests are a really good idea — do it.

Once we started filming, it was almost like a break for us. On days with no FX, which weren’t often, we got to work at the church, in peace. And then we would be called back to set. So, we learned to get most of our work done on set. At some point I brought a gelatin head to set that someone had sent in—over a month before. Just try to imagine the smells that come out of a blood-splattered box holding a rotten gelatin head complete with a fermented blood surprise inside. I don’t know how many times I had to explain what that horrible smell was. For the last time, I’m sorry.

Lloyd Kaufman really is a mad genius. A kind, patient, mad genius. The man is amazing to watch and watching Lloyd direct in costume and full makeup was definitely a sight to see. There were times where he could have taken all of the stuff off and he didn’t. I don’t know if it was some form of getting down in the trenches with the actor persons and proving to everyone else that he could do it. Or, if it was Lloyd’s twisted intimidation tactics. Either way, Lloyd is mad.

So, you want to know what I learned? Always aim the syringe away from your face. Although, 160cc of hand lotion to the eye is much nicer than the rotten blood we used. True lack of sleep turns your life into some sort of waking dream with fast food and chicken zombies. Troma and germophobia can not exist in the same environment. Thank you Troma, for curing me, well not really, but a little bit. Bitte Andersson is totally HARDCORE, no matter what she thinks. Zombie arms are flammable. Sorry Beth. Dave Molloy is a totally amazing, FX maniac and I can’t thank him enough for all of the knowledge he has passed on to me. Also, when the sun starts to come up, Dave starts freestyle rapping. Sorry, I just had to say it.

I lasted 74 days in Tromaville. That makes you appreciate the little things. Since leaving Buffalo, everything smells sweeter. My apartment seems like a luxury suite, though, that is mostly due to the lack of slime and feathers. Food even tastes better. Long, hot showers never felt so nice. It is also the little things that make me miss everyone so much too.

Hugs and cusses from the land of the TastyKakes
— Melissa McAnany, Set Builder and FX Artist