To Whom It May Concern,

You never know where you are going to end up in life.

Perhaps that’s why we put up with all of the pain and suffering. For those moments of unexpected joy and well-earned happiness, Poultrygeist is a culmination of the events of life itself. From conception to birth, to life and its trials and tribulations. Then, completion.

For me, it all began when I was a young boy.
A new cartoon premiered called “Toxic Crusaders”. I loved it, and I couldn’t get enough of Toxie and the gang! I noticed at the end of the program “based on ‘The Toxic Avenger’, a Troma film.” Well, naturally, I had to see it! I found a copy at the local video store and hurried home to view its contents. The gloriously disfigured picture of Toxie on the cover had me thoroughly excited! I was floored. Toxie was even cooler than I had previously thought. He was maiming and crushing the bad guys with a fury! A new Troma fan was born.

Years have gone by; my passion for cinema has enveloped my being. I have a burning desire to be a part of something—to begin a career in the entertainment field, to gain some “reel” experience!

One night while searching the internet for casting calls, movie news, and goat porn I decided to visit Troma.com. It had been some time since I last visited so I thought, “perhaps there would be something of interest on the site.” Lo and behold! An opportunity to work as a PA for Troma’s next film “Poultrygeist: Attack of the Chicken Zombies!” I clearly remember how nervous I was writing that first email to Troma. I highly doubted they would be interested in hiring a guy from South Carolina with no experience whatsoever. I was wrong.

A few pleasant emails from Nick Koenig assured me that Tromaville would soon be my next home (or prison)! I took my final paycheck, quit my job and bought a plane ticket to Buffalo, NY. One flight later, I was transported into another world. As I stepped off the plane and walked through the airport I saw a man holding a Troma sign: John Karyus. Everything you would expect of a Troma fan and more. He grows on you like mold. He delivered me to the Troma offices (a church… how ironic).

I met the group of people that would soon be a part of my life forthe next two months: Bitte, Kevin, Andy D., Andy K., Melissa (I still love you too), Dave (he still loves everybody), Roshen, Robin, John L., John M., Holly, Tessa, Brenna, Anna C., Alyssa, Ben, and, of course, Jamie.

People were coming through the doors day and night! So many local fans and film aficionados came to assist in any way possible. This passion helped fuel my fire to make this one of the best Troma films ever made! From cleaning an abandoned restaurant and scraping floortiles with shovels to hours upon hours of making buckets, cups (thanks, Glenn for the tricks of the trade!) and ‘sandbags’, all helped to make a difference—practicing dance moves (Thank you Maria and Tracy!!) and rehearsing lines of political banter in a hot humid basement with falling ceiling tiles.

Soon our make up artist and mask/beak designer Xochitl Gomez arrived. I was lucky enough to be the first chicken zombie. It was awesome. I love getting made up for special events and for Halloween but this was for a feature film. It feels totally different and it’s thrilling to say the least. During Lloyd’s first visit Beth Charlesworth (my British twin) and I displayed possible chicken zombie actions and some rather fascinating singing and dancing performances. Who knew my life would change that instant. I went from being an idiot in a latex mask and makeup to being an idiot in a latex mask and makeup who would soon be heading a class of chicken zombie freaks.

Speaking of Lloyd‘s first visit… everyone was nervous and had no idea what to expect. After he arrived, all worry quickly dissipated. Lloyd is one of the kindest people I have had the pleasure of working for.

He had the huge responsibility as the director of a 35mm film about Native American chicken zombies. Yet, he still had more than enough time to appreciate and thank you for all of your hard work and dedication. The most common image people get when they hear “director” is someone who doesn’t interact with the “little people” and has others do all of the work for them. Nothing could be further from the truth. This was a man that not only bonded with the cast, crew, and the Buffalonians, but he also directed a large portion of the film wearing an elaborate chicken zombie costume (much to the amusement of all who were there). Thank you for showing us all of your feathers, Unca Lloydie.

All of the effort, pain, tears, sweat, blood (fake and non), green slime, and bromo that went into this film adds up to one thing. Poultrygeist is more than a film. It’s a statement. As long as Troma and its followers stand, truly independent cinema will continue to pour forth from the creative minds that would otherwise be limited by the elitist, corporate pigs that run our entertainment and media industry. We will never rest until we are heard.

Super Special Thanks To…

The PA’s (one large dysfunctional family) and the camera crew (headed by Troma legend Brendan Flynt) were an amazing group of people to work with, dedicated to the cause and call of independent cinema and freedom of expression through celluloid. All banded together to create another Tromatic masterpiece. A huge thank you goes out to all of you.

A huge, gargantuan kudos must also go to the fine people of Buffalowho came to be a part of the film!
“Be a movie star! Does not require a huge amount of time!” Yeah.

We had rehearsal after rehearsal in a sweltering basement for hours upon hours in a sun drenched ACB parking lot. We were covered in cold glue and feathers on top of grease paint. From the 12 hour days in the heat to the late nights in the ACB, this group was simply amazing. Without you this film would be nothing. What would have happened to “Generous General” or the massacre? It simply could not be. Thank you!

Many have said it before me, but it can’t be said enough: thank you to Jamie Greco for doing such a fine job of keeping it together and helping round this amazing group together. Thanks to your countless hours of hard work and determination we were able to pull off something truly amazing.

Thanks to the makeup team! You cranked out an amazing group of zombies in a short period of time! From the make up artists in the malodorous basement of the ACB to the ‘gluers’ and ‘featherers’. Like clockwork you cranked out an army of badass chicken zombies.

The FX teams. You were all amazing and did a great job under so much pressure. It was an honor to get to work and learn from all of you. I think you all have a great future ahead of you and if you keep the same kind of work ethic and dedication you displayed in your time on the Poultrygeist set there are no limits to what you can achieve.

Costume Department. Amazing designs and well crafted wardrobes. Each one of you played an integral part in creating the fabric that tied together this tapestry. Your contributions to cinematic freedom are appreciated. And your talents… admired.

Andy Deemer and Kiel Walker. Great job on keeping us in line. I know how many times a loaded gun may have seemed like the answer (whether you would use it on yourself or us is the question). But thanks to your professional manner and way of handling things, we all worked diligently together to make an epic.

[And Gabe Friedman, of course. I mean, I’d have to be an IDIOT to forget to thank Gabe. I would feel really, really silly if I had taken all the trouble to write this, and forgot someone like the writer and editor of this film– man, he could cut my scenes out completely! It’d only take him 4 seconds! Ha ha! And it’d be so humiliating if someone had to add this entire paragraph in separately before posting this ass-kissing fest on the website, too. So thank god I did it here, because without Gabe’s brilliant, grudge-free brain, I wouldn’t even have this experience to wax nostalgic over! So thanks Gabe– you are my god! And now I can continue on with the rest of my blog.]

The cast was also fantastic. Jason, Josh, Robin, Khalid, Allyson, Kate, and Rose. Watching you practice tirelessly under such extreme conditions and pressure was an inspiration to all that worked with you. Here’s a special nod to our AD and fellow actor Caleb Emerson. His lovely facial hair—I mean his skillful way of keeping calm while everything around him seems on the brink of spontaneous combustion was extremely impressive and deserving of praise. You rock! (Also, it was great getting lost in Buffalo with you “we should get a map”. Good times.)

And last, but most definitely NOT least…

Zombie classes. I can’t be appreciative enough for you all listening to me ramble on about “zombie acting”. You were all amazing and I was thoroughly impressed with how well you took directions. Some of it was hard to take in (Chicken Indian clucking? Zombie war dances? Flapping your arms with murderous intent?) but you did it with style! I never knew that making the decision to work as a PA for free would lead to something so amazing. Not only did I get to be in the film, I assisted in teaching our lovely actor-persons and my fellow PA’s how to act like reanimated and possessed zombies. Seeing the large groups reenact my directions made me feel on top of the world. This is where I was meant to be.

Thank you, Troma.
Thank you, Buffalo.
Thank YOU.

Sin-cerely,
IAN C. KING -Zombie Trainer and well versed Lesbi….Thespian-