I’ve always been a huge movie buff, especially horror and since 3rd grade Troma has been right at the top of my list. My introduction to Troma was the cartoon seriesThe Toxic Crusaders on U.S.A. network. Then my mom told me that she thought there might be a movie. So I ran down the street to Family Video and sure enough!! It was called The Toxic Avenger but they only had Part 2 and I rented it on the spot. So I’m in the middle of watching it and my mom walks in and was completely appalled!!! She thought the movie would be ok because there was a cartoon based on it. After that, U.S.A. Up All Night would have Troma film festivals and was my weekend highlight! Oh, the memories……….

So many years later, a friend of mine lands a roll in Toxic Avenger:The Musikill stage play in Portland, Oregon! I was so jealous! Then I found out Lloyd Kaufman was coming to it and he had hung out with another friend of mine! Then she had him call me and that was my beginning journey to Tromaville. Eventually I called Lloyd and brainwashed him into letting me work on Poultrygeist! So I end up in Buffalo, New York with a couple of bags packed to the brim, a sleeping bag, and my big Swear shoes.

Since I arrived on the first day of filming, nobody was able to pick me up from the train station. I had to walk quite a distance with all that heavy shit and was drenched in sweat by the time I arrived at the church on Linwood ave. There were some people sitting out front who I spoke to and then I was brought inside to sign contacts and meet everybody……..then it was up to me to try and fit in somewhere. It was a bit awkward at first but eventually I proved myself to be useful. It was alot of hard work, blood, sweat , & vomit!!!!!!! That was the best part about being involved with this movie, being in it! I got to be the most heavily featured chicken zombie, I think. I had to lay dead in a fry machine for hours on end with a working heat lamp on me & I think my favorite was the fake vomit that actually made me vomit! I play a customer who gets killed by some chicken zombies and also a protestor who turns into a chicken deadite. Wearing the special fx makeup was awesome at first….until the hot water heater in the church broke down!!! I can’t stand cold showers and the glue doesn’t come off very easily. So I didn’t shower for almost a week, sometimes sleeping with the feathers still on me, or blood, or makeup, or whatever it may be. Add that to not sleeping much and I was a total mess! I eventually gave in and took a cold shower… brrrrrr.

Lloyd Kaufman was very interesting to work with to say the least. He would sometimes scream at me,”God Damn it! Don’t let Greg do anything!” and other times he would say something like,”Oh, you did such a great job and I’ll try and get you in the movie more!” In the end, he’s a great guy, who makes some killer f*cking films!!!! My favorites being The Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke ‘Em High, Terror Firmer, Tromeo & Juliet, and Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. One funny memory I have of Lloyd is one night I was listening to Pink Floyd with on headphone up to my ear, and it was all peaceful, and then in the other ear all of a sudden, it’s Lloyd yelling something like,“More blood, more shit!” It was a very interesting combination.

“What they say about Ron is all true, Ladies…”

I was a bit star struck meeting all those people I’ve been watching in Troma movies like Ron Jeremy, Lloyd Kaufman, Gabe Friedman, Brendan Flynt, Tracy Mann, Joe Fleishaker, Debbie Rochon, Caleb Emerson, Purple Pam, etc. Oh, and I can’t forget Lloyd’s daughter, Charlette Kaufman! She was so nice! We went out for martinis so that was a bit sureal. Look for her in Poultrygeist, she’s the girl who gets killed in the soda machine and then dispensed into a cup!

I remember one time I was just sitting there, looking around at all the tromatic chaos, and I couldn’t stop smiling! I couldn’t believe I was actually there, on a Troma movie set!!!!!!!!!!!!! My dream had come true!!!! I had worked on one other movie as a production assistant called The Godfather of Green Bay but this was alot more fun and I got to do alot more. I got to make prosthetic beaks & wounds and also learn how to apply zombie makeup and prosthetics. I got to kill people on film, I got to play a zombie on film, I got to be a part of filmed special fx tests, I got to chase a skunk out of a mountain of bee infested trash, I got to stir & equalize mountains of port-a-potty shit, I got to have a vomit scene and get vomited on, and bla bla bla … I remember one time I was very exhausted, and I had passed out behind the old rented McDonalds in full chicken zombie makeup. The next thing I know I’m waking up to the makeup guy lying next to me with a crowd around me laughing & the behind the scenes guy was filming! I was so confused so I just got up and sat somewhere else. Later I find out that I had a huge hard-on and they were filming it and poking it with a stick!!!!! Oh well I guess it will be funny to be made an ass of. That is if it even makes it into the documentary seeing as someone spilled water on some of the tapes.

We love boobies of all shapes

So flash forward to the wrap party!!!!!! What a wonderful feeling of accomplishment!!! I had such a wonderful time! When Lloyd was giving his speach I was tearing up!! Everyone I worked with on this movie was awesome & I had a very dream come true time! Maybe I’ll write a bigger blog someday or actually I could probably write a book on the experience…oh wait I think Simon is doing that… shameless plug… everyone support independant art and our movie BUY POULTRYGEIST T-SHIRTS!

Peace out! I can’t wait for my next visit to Tromaville!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe Poultrygeist 2: Attack of the Gregory P. Smith!!!!!!!!!